Mental Fitness Mondays: Getting Help
24th August 2026Why asking for help can be one of the most mentally fit things you do
At first glance, Real Clear’s Four Core Muscles of Mental Fitness model is simple; identify muscles to strengthen, practise the exercises, and over time you become mentally fitter.
But life doesn’t always provide an equal starting point. Some people live with trauma, stress, neurodiversity, disability, or difficult life circumstances. Staying mentally fit can be much harder than it looks on paper, which is why I encourage you to think differently about something that many resist: getting help.
Seeing help differently
Help might mean a therapist, a trauma specialist, a friend. Sometimes it means practical help, other times it could mean a coach, a course, a personal trainer, a financial advisor. Mental fitness doesn't mean going it alone or toughing it out without help.
One of the best decisions I made in my own life came about twenty-five years ago when I realised that I was my own most important investment. Up until then I’d prioritised other people’s needs while putting my own further down the list.
I invested in therapy and in training that helped me understand myself better and gain qualifications. I paid more attention to what helped me stay healthy and balanced. Getting support to improve my mental health was particularly important.
Why asking for help can feel uncomfortable
Many people I work with see help as something you turn to only when things have gone badly wrong. Asking for support can feel like weakness, or like you’re being a burden. That belief can make life harder than it needs to be.
Your most important investment
Investing in that support, particularly mental health support, doesn’t mean you’re failing. In fact, it’s courageous and a workout for many mental fitness muscles including your People Skills.
Through studying trauma, I’ve come to understand how powerfully our nervous systems can be shaped by early experiences. When someone has lived through instability, fear or chronic stress, their nervous system can become organised around protection and survival.
Many people have never experienced what a healthy baseline of mental fitness feels like, or they can’t remember a time when life felt safe. If that’s true for you, it isn’t a personal failing. It just means that building mental fitness may involve support from other people as well as the exercises you practise yourself.
Dani’s story
Dani grew up in unstable conditions; in childhood she developed a strong instinct to protect and to stay alert. As an adult she was committed and hardworking, but there always seemed to be another difficulty appearing somewhere in her life. Relationships were strained, workplaces became unstable and she often felt as though life was something she had to battle through.
During our coaching conversations she noticed that her nervous system still expected the world to be unsafe. That expectation influenced how she interpreted situations, the choices she made and the level of tension she carried day to day. This meant that issues would frequently escalate and other people would avoid her or label her as difficult.
Once she became aware of that pattern, she started taking steps that supported her mental fitness, including seeking additional help to continue working through the impact of earlier experiences.
Dani is on a journey to improve her mental fitness, for her own sake. What made the difference was recognising that she didn’t have to deal with everything alone.
Coaching reflection:
What about you? If you saw yourself as your most important investment, what kind of help might you ask for right now?